Heartbreak by Palesa Gaetsewe

Contemplating on how to do this
How to let you know how I feel
Lie awake at night
While the world is asleep
Engrossing my tears on my pillow
Thoughts of you taught me
Though leave me with an unidentifiable pain, located on the left side of my chest
I waggle through my mind
Running back to the past
Searching for the signs
Asking myself
Where did I go wrong???
The excruciating pain starts once more
I hold on to my pillow
Struggling to breathe…

Thoughts of you consuming me
The intensive pain seems to be engraving the scar on my bones
Your eyes… your smile…
Tears rush through my swollen eyes
The pain digs deeper
I know nobody bears eyes like yours
What kills me is, those white shimmering eyes will never whisper into my wounded soul
The pain in my chest starts burning…
Loud sobs escape my cracked lips
Door open and mom enters
“Are you okay honey?” she whispers
No I’m not okay, I’m hurting ma…
My source of stability has left me

My chest is burning
It’s been consumed by an unbearable pain
Tears can’t stop flooding through my eyes
Mom… I’m hurting and nobody understand
I can’t stop thinking of him
Can’t stop missing him
Can’t stop wishing things were different
I’ve went to the past, endless times
Looking for answers
Where did it go wrong???

It hurts to wake up and know that he’s not there
It hurts to see him everyday bearing the same smile, that is killing me right now
It pains me to see him with another girl
I’m dying inside because of the words “let’s be friends”
My eyes are swollen
My heart crushed
Cupid messed with me
Instead of hitting both of us
He shut only me
It truly hurts ma…

But it pains me even more to know, he doesn’t care
“Are you okay honey” she repeated
I let out a deep breath…
Looked straight into her eyes and said
“Yeah… I’m okay.”
She left the room, not knowing
The tremendous pain I felt
She left not knowing that today…
Was the day my weary soul was to leave my bruised body
For this was the day
My heart told my soul
“I’m tired….”

This was the day my heart gave up
This was the day my heart couldn’t stop bleeding
She left without knowing that
This was the day…
I died of heartbreak!!!

Written by Palesa Gaetsewe