Youth Life

“Of Imported Accents” By FEELING STATION

So I’m not one to pick on accents, in fact I never notice them. All that “she went to the airport and brought home an accent” slander, nahh fam I’m like schleep for days. I’m not involved.
UNTIL…………………………………….

Fake accents

Recently, I’m on my way from work, I’m tired and shiii, I’m hungry, I’m low, shit ain’t going proper, everyone I care about is pissed off at me and its a loong ass ride home. Some fracas by our terminus but ain’t paying attention to none of it, I just wanna get home and sleep. So the kombi is on its way now, and to my disappointment they are jaming middle school love songs ana Kiss Kiss, bla bla why wont you ridza zvechikorobho warasa mvura thats were iam at fam, thats what i want but anyway whatevs. My mobile data is on, twimboes is on fire im tryna make it snappy the kombi is noisy but I have my hoodie on and spiraled hair (read weave) I’m really not bothered.

We now kumaraini kwedu and people are trickling out then some person at the back say “busstop” and this guy siting by the door (not the necessarily the conductor) says “did you say something?” looking directly at me. I shake my head sideways and get back to my phone. He asks again, I say “No, its that guy in the corner” I say in a very annoyed voice and the asker goes “Damn!” I’m like errmmm 😒 iya! He goes all “How you girl you good”

Iya, suddenly this bhudhi is dressed in that american accent, for poor me? I answer “Kwaziwai” in a more annoyed voice. He loudly goes “so are you around? You from the ghetto?” I ignore that shii, i say “Busstop” he says to his friends “Eh Ima drop off this mboky with that daij.” Aikaka, heya kombi yave kunzi mboky nhai? Kuziva mbuya huudzwa but this mbuya can miss me fam. He makes small talk,, lucky enough my house is near the bus stop so I tell him adios and he asks for my number, which I blatantly refuse to give for these reasons:

1) Why did he summon his accent when he saw me? Ndiyo ndiwonekwe yandisingasingade iyoyo

2) Why did he feel the need to raise his voice just because he was speaking in English, choshamisira chingezi??

3) His accent was too American for my ass, I’m all about that British accent.

4) “I like him because of his accent” said nobody ever

5) I don’t give out my number to strangers

So next time before you go about kokaring your accent for people you don’t know, think twice.

Follow FEELING STATION on twitter @Rtbrkn

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