Dating

5 Behaviors You Need To Drop If You Want To Be A Real Man

In today’s youth focused culture, it’s easy to delay your adulthood. It might even be expected. It’s not uncommon to meet a middle aged man who still smokes weed, dresses in sweat pants and spends all his spare time playing video games. Being a manchild is obviously unsexy, but many men who are adult in a lot of ways still exhibit boyish behavior  and it’s not always cute. I know that things like commitment and responsibility might seem boring when you have endless options to date and hookup with willing girls, but it’s also the little things that make you a man.

Black man taking selfie near colorful wall

As a woman, it’s disappointing to meet and date men who might be handsome, accomplished and funny, but lack the maturity to know how to treat a woman.

Here are five behaviors you need to lose if you want to be a man.

1. Insecurity And Competitiveness

Every woman has been in a relationship with a boy with a fragile ego who needs constant reassurance. Walking on eggshells will not lead to a serious relationship. Get over your insecurity and stop constantly one upping your partner and putting her down to make yourself feel better. When your girlfriend succeeds it should make you proud, not threatened. A man is supportive and generous, and confident in his own abilities. He can take criticism and provide support for his partner when she needs it.

2. Inability To Communicate

The basis of any serious relationship is communication — but it can go a long way on a first date, too. Tell a girl what you think, tell her she’s beautiful, and if you love her, tell her. Don’t wait for her to say it. And don’t say you love her if you don’t mean it. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Think about what you want and talk to her about it. Listen to what she wants. Be honest and open and don’t hide your own emotions or be afraid of confrontation or uncomfortable conversations. It’s all part of growing up.

3. Being A Know-It-All

I know you’re smart and you know a lot of stuff. If I’m dating you I’m definitely interested in your opinions. But being a know-it-all isn’t sexy. I’d like to think I’m pretty switched on too, and constantly being corrected or having things explained to me isn’t fun. Why can’t we talk like equals? A man loves to be challenged, he loves a discussion or a political argument. And he can admit that he doesn’t know everything.

4. Obsessing Over Looks

When you’re a boy, you fantasize about the models in the lingerie catalog. When you start dating in your 20s, maybe you still have this one-dimensional idea of female beauty in your head. But real men understand there are a lot of things that make a girl beautiful not just their bra size. When you’ve had a bit of experience when you become a man you realize that flaws are sexy because they belong to real women, and a real woman is sexier than your one dimensional fantasy.

5. Indecisiveness

Boys don’t know what they want. They don’t have careers, they don’t have goals, they don’t have serious relationships because they can’t judge what’s important. When it comes to women, they’re usually just chasing hot girls or racking up notches in their belt. Men know what they want in a partner. They have a type and they recognize when they meet a good woman and they treat her with respect, not just empty flattery to get in her pants.

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