Hilarious Kevin Hart Zingers That Will Crack You Up

Prolific film actor, Fitness freak. 5ft 4in. Kevin Hart is known for many things but, ultimately, his rise to fame is mostly down to the fact that he is straight up hilarious. To coincide with the release of his new film ‘Central Intelligence’, which sees Hart share the screen with none other than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, we’ve collected the Philly funnyman’s top lines.

Check out below……..

1. On his relationship history 
I don’t have Exes, I have Ys. Like, ‘Y the hell did I date you?”’

2. On drink-driving
How do you know when you’re too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree, then realize it was your air freshener.”

3. On getting older
I hate people that say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.”

4. On fear
There are five kinds of fear. There’s panic. Terror. Fifteen missed calls from your mom. ‘Wrong password’. And ‘We need to talk’.

5. On fighting
I think if you get kicked in the face, you deserved it. Because that means that you watched the foot come to your face.

6. On the daily grind
Who else feels that you only go to work so you can afford to put gas in your car so you can go to work?

7. On infidelity
A lion would never cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood.

8. On domestics 
Ever argue with a female and, in the middle of the argument, you no longer feel safe because of her actions? She may start pacing back and forth real fast, breathing out her nose. You know what my girl do? When she get mad, she start talking in the third person. That’s scary as hell because that’s her way of telling me that from this point on, she is not responsible for her actions.

9. On discussing dreams
Telling someone ‘I had a dream about you’ is code for ‘I had a dream we f***ed and now I want to.”

10. On community spirit
A good neighbor is one who doesn’t put a password on their wi-fi.

11. On wind-ups
How to get a woman mad in two easy steps. 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don’t show it to her.

12. On being the designated driver
Next time everybody fall asleep when I’m driving, imma fall asleep too and see how y’all like it.

13. On ghetto words
Ghetto word of today is cologne. As in: ‘Ayee bruh, you think you cologne me a dollar?’ Ghetto word of tomorrow is omelette. As in: ‘I shoulda slapped da f*** outta yo ass but omelette dat s*** slide dis time.”

14. On Insta-games
If you’re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on Instagram and then comment ‘You three look great!’ Grab popcorn and wait.”

15. On call screening
If you call your girl and she don’t pick up, keep calling her until her battery dies. That way she won’t call other n****s.”

16. On Facebook statuses
Who do some couples make their status ‘Single’ every time they have a fight? I don’t put ‘Orphan’ when I get into fights with my parents.

17. On insults
If a man says you’re ugly, he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly as f***.”