Sports have unwritten rules. These rules developed over the evolution of the game. They were invented, and enforced, by players and coaches. If an unwritten rule is broken, the offending player will face the consequences. Relationships have unwritten rules. Technically, all of the rules in dating are unwritten, but there are certain rules in relationships that are so obvious they really shouldn’t have to be explained.
Sadly, we’re going to have to explain them, because some guys are just plain clueless. In two weeks you notice he found his next The One in a nightclub and is posting photos of them flirting on Instagram. #cool
1. Tell you to wear your hair down when it’s in a ponytail.
We don’t tell you to stop wearing so much pomade that I can’t touch your head without needing a baby wipe for my hand before I do literally anything else.
2. Give you any outfit suggestions.
Ever. Never comment on a girl’s appearance unless you’re telling her she looks hot.
3. Ask for your number and then never call.
Or they text you once and then disappear. If you only want to make out with me once and then go away that’s fine, don’t bother asking for my number because you think I need that. (I don’t!)
4. Communicate via text only.
Pick up the dang phone and call me.
5. Text at like 2 a.m. “U up?”
Because his nighttime plans didn’t work out and he’s hoping that YOU will bone him now. Despite the grand gesture, I’ll pass.
6. Say, “You looked really good when…”
Like, there was a past date at which I looked great, and now, at this present date, I look like a feral gutter creature.
