One of the fundamental elements of a good relationship is good communication. Good communication creates a healthy relationship that grows. The opposite is true when there is bad communication. Failure to communicate creates rifts in a relationship, resentment and even breakups. When dealing with conflicts as a couple, it’s important to understand the right communication skills. Below are conflict resolution mistakes to avoid in relationships.
1. Avoiding Conflict Altogether
Some couples choose not to deal with conflict. The problem with this is that resentment arises due to assumptions. Try expressing how you feel and
2. Being Defensive
Defensive partners don’t address the issue or their partner’s needs but instead do not acknowledge their wrong doing. This makes a partner insensitive and uncaring making it hard for the relationship to progress. Try listening from a partner’s point of view and meet them half way.
Avoid starting sentences with, “You always,” and, “You never,” because it amplifies the conflict.
4. Being Right:
Focusing on being right defeats the purpose of compromising in a relationship. Don’t try to persuade your partner to see things your way but find a way to come to an agreement about things.
5. Psychoanalyzing or Mind-Reading
This is the most assumptive behaviour which often comes off as condescending. When dealing with conflict with a partner don’t decide on why your partner has acted or reacted the way they have. Instead wait for them to speak and make sure that you listen, and don’t assume.
6. Forgetting to Listen
There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Failing to listen to partner means that you don’t see things from their point of view. It also makes you seem like you are selfish and inconsiderate. Listening to a partner will make sure that you are able to communicate and respond in a way that can help both partners resolve their issues amicably.
7. Playing the Blame Game
Some people handle conflict by criticizing and blaming the other person for the situation. They see admitting any weakness on their own part as a weakening of their credibility, and avoid it at all costs, and even try to shame them for being “at fault.” Instead, try to view conflict as an opportunity to analyze the situation objectively, assess the needs of both parties and come up with a solution that helps you both.
8. Trying to “Win” The Argument
At times a partner can argue for the sake of proving that they are right. Discussions in relationships are meant for mutual understanding and coming to an agreement or resolution that respects everyone’s needs.
9. Making Character Attacks
Character attack is the most common conflict tactic used by many people. One or both partners will use the other partners weaknesses. Fight fair by dealing with the issue at hand.
When one partner wants to discuss troubling issues in the relationship, sometimes people refuse to talk or listen to their partner. This is called stonewalling which increases tension in a relationship. It’s much better to listen and discuss things in a respectful manner.