Every relationship has its fair share of ups and downs but there are ways to deal with each situation. There will be times that couples will fight and disagree. There are healthy ways of dealing with issues but there are ways that could hurt the relationship. There is the saying ‘sticks and stones’ but words can break hearts. There are words that people could say in a relationship that are hurtful to their partner. Below are 10 things to never say in a relationship.
1. “Whatever, it’s fine.”
Bowing out of a disagreement this way is actually avoiding conflict. This leads to resentment as the issues wont be dealt with.
2. “That’s ridiculous!”
This is a dismissive statement that shows that you don’t have any regard for your partner.
3. “Oh, that’s just great.”
Don’t be sarcastic by saying such a passive aggressive statement. There are ways to show dissatisfaction without being condescending. You are also trying to find positive ways to deal with the disagreement.
4. “You never…”
Like the statement, ‘you always’, ‘you never’ sounds like an attack on your partner. You look like you are complaining and nagging. What you could say is, ‘I would appreciate it if…’, or ‘It would be nice if you…’. In that way you are expressing your expectations or concerns without being on the offense.
5. “Calm down!”
Ever been so mad and someone tells you to calm down? It makes you feel and look like you are crazy. In other words you are saying that your partner has no right to have emotions. It’s important that you allow your partner to express their feelings even the negative ones.
Saying a sentence, worse still, apologizing then adding ‘but’ seems like you are giving conditions. Use alternative words such as “and” or “at the same time” to show you respect your partner’s opinion.
7. “Let’s just drop it.”
Don’t shut down an argument but instead allow time to cool off.
8. Name calling
No matter how much your partner pushes your button, don’t call them names. Focus on finding a solution, not on seeing how effectively you can hurt each other’s feelings.
9. “It shouldn’t be this hard.”
Relationships aren’t fairy tales but you shouldn’t place doom on your relationship. Find ways to deal with the hard times.
10. “Maybe I should just leave.”
Don’t say this unless you mean it. Don’t frame your disagreement as a hint of a break up.