10 Things Every Guy In A Brand New Relationship Should Avoid

Ahhh, the endorphin-fueled stage of new love. You’re lucky enough to have found someone you’re really into, and things are going swimmingly between you two. You’ve recently made things official and you really don’t want to mess this one up, so here are ten important things to keep in mind.

1. Don’t Suffocate Her

During the early stages of a relationship, it’s hard to tear yourself away from your new beau. Everything seems brighter when she’s around, and other people  even your greatest friends! all of a sudden seem lackluster in comparison. But don’t make the mistake of smothering your new love: Both of you need to spend some time apart with other people, otherwise you risk dulling that new relationship sheen through overexposure.

2. Don’t Avoid Discussing Important Matters

Sometimes new relationships feel so blissful simply because you haven’t broached any of the unsexy, practical things that need discussing in every relationship yet. Are you chalking up your girlfriend’s constant lateness as an endearing personal quirk, even though it makes you feel disrespected? Does her pet name for you make you cringe? It’s natural to want to avoid rocking the boat in the early stages of a relationship, but avoiding raising these issues just means they become entrenched habits, so speak up, early and kindly, so that she understands your needs and expectations.

3. Don’t Keep Her Isolated

If you’ve been together more than a month and your girlfriend hasn’t met any of your friends and family, she’s going to start to wonder why. It’s OK to wait until you’re really sure about someone before introducing them to your nearest and dearest, but if you’ve made the relationship official, it’s time to start doing some intros.

4. Don’t Put Her On A Pedestal

We know, you’re besotted with your new girlfriend! She seems so perfect, and you can hardly believe your luck that she’s chosen you! Whoa there, partner. “Nobody’s perfect” is a cliche because it’s true, and building your girlfriend up to impossible heights just means that her inevitable flaws and imperfections will eventually bother you more than they would have if you’d kept a realistic picture of her. Be realistic she will have flaws, and they’re part of what makes her human and lovable.

5. Don’t Talk About Her Constantly

Your friends are no doubt thrilled for you that you’ve found true love, but spare them the details of your girlfriend’s grooming habits and that cute little snore that she does just before she wakes up. Of course you’re going to want to talk about your new lover, but don’t forget to maintain some balance and check in on your friends’ lives occasionally.

6. Don’t Become Possessive

So your new girlfriend wants to spend this Tuesday night with a friend from out of town, even though you always spend Tuesday nights watching Law & Order re-runs! The good news is, that’s fine. Preventing your girlfriend from spending time with other people will result in a hostile, stifling, and ultimately short-lived relationship.

7. Don’t Let Her Influence You Too Much

A nice thing about new relationships is that you’re exposed to a whole different person’s passions, quirks and annoyances. It’s perfectly healthy to show an interest in the things your partner loves or hates, but adopting her entire persona wholesale is unhealthy, and will make your friends who knew the Old You cringe on your behalf.

8. Don’t Get Mean

The difference between the glorious luster of new relationships and the tired grayness of old ones is that, too often, the latter become characterized by pettiness, bickering and passive aggression. Have you ever been around a married couple who talk about each other like they despise each other and aren’t even on the same team? These bad habits and small cruelties seep into relationships like spilled milk into a sponge, so try to head off fights before they start there’s no need for unnecessary, and it will ultimately corrode your relationship.

9. Don’t Try To Bend Her To Your Will

It’s tempting to try to subtly iron out your partner’s imperfections, and it’s okay to help your partner change for the better. However, if you find yourself dictating how your partner should dress, what they should do for fun and how they should speak, you’re being unfair and controlling, and chances are it shows that you’re not with the right person anyway.

10. Don’t Forget To Enjoy Yourself

Even despite both your best efforts, the new relationship sheen will wear off eventually. Enjoy it while it lasts! The feeling of new love is one of the most incredible feelings we’re gifted on this earth, so remember to fully inhabit it while it’s happening. Older, comfortable relationships are lovely too, but make the most of this precious honeymoon phase, where everything about the other person seems charming and new.