5 Modern Dating Rules Your Parents Never Had To Deal With

When our parents were young, they didn’t have to worry about how the internet and technology has turned us all into sociopathic nightmares who only know how to connect by randomly finding each other online and smashing our bodies into each other and calling it love. No, when they were young they needed to meet people by going out and about and vetting potential dating options through friends and friends of friends. It was arguably more difficult, sure, but it also allowed them the opportunity to truly process their feelings about a situation.

Since we all have only known dating online, the reality is it is difficult for us to understand just how deeply technology has shaped the ways we interact with each other, even romantically. Below are five dating realities our parents never had to deal with because they grew up in a time where dating online wasn’t a thing and a Grinder was something used to make hamburger meat.

1. Meeting Online

The horror of online dating is that you actually never know what you’re going to get. Even if you carefully cultivate the perfect dating profile, the reality is that people lie more often than not on the web and any sort of connection you make online is subject to questioning. However, since we’re so busy shoving our noses in our mobile devices and not interacting in person, it is the reality we have to deal with.

Meeting people online has given us all the idea that another person’s emotions don’t have to be important to us because we can toss that person aside with a swipe of the finger or a quick hit of the Block button. We forget that there is an actual human being on the other end of our online interactions, someone with fears and insecurities. Since no one treats each other with the respect they would in person, we’re left to hope that we can find the one person who fits all of our dating criteria and have them be decent enough to treat us with dignity.

2. Inventing Ideas About Them Through Social Media

Online dating allows us all the time in the world to take care of all the questions you would normally ask on a first date: what are your interests? Are you close with your family? What is your favorite color? And because we’re not meeting face to face, we have time to let our imaginations run wild and invent who we believe this person will be before ever giving them a chance to show us who they truly are. It is a shame because we end up being disappointed even before we’ve given them a chance because there is no way someone can ever live up to the ideas we project onto them.

3. Being Catfished

One thing our parents never had to worry about was someone tricking them into believing they are someone they’re not (aka catfishing). They never had to be confronted with an online date that looks absolutely nothing like her pictures, and they’ve never had to deal with the weirdness that comes when someone is not at all what they’ve portrayed themselves to be online. The sad part is when someone catfishes us, we almost have to accept it for what it is. Not that we have to be happy about it  just that we have to accept that people can be deceitful online, and we’re never 100% sure who we’re talking to is who they claim to be.

4. The Post-Breakup Race To Be Happier

When a relationship does finally end, social media has turned us into monsters who want to make it seem like we’re having the time of our lives even if we’re crumbling inside. This is painful to both parties involved because instead of correctly processing the disappointment and anger that comes with a breakup, we’re too busy posting Instagram photos of our brunch to hurt the other person with “look how good I am without you!”

5. Painfully Seeing Them Move On

And after the race is over, social media has made it so we’re always connected to our exes if we choose to be. We get to see through status updates, pictures, and Vines just how their life carries on after us. We get to see them at parties with friends you once shared, and you get to see their next relationship unfold right before your eyes. Our parents were able to end things and never have to see that person again if it was too painful, or if they didn’t want to be reminded. The downside of social media is we’re never able to truly forget, and we carry that pain with us as we go.