5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Is Going To Go For The Nice Guy Instead Of You In The End
When it comes to dating, girls are not always, shall we say, consistent with what we say we want and what we actually go for and yes, we can get caught up in the whole bad boy allure. But that aside, once we do smarten up, it does become quite apparent that in life or at least in love it’s the so called ”nice guys” who end up being the right guys.
So if you’re finding yourself wondering where you’re going wrong, or how to improve your chances, take a page or two from The Nice Guy Handbook and learn what he’s doing right. Here are the top five reasons why your girlfriend is going to go for the nice guy instead of you below!.
1) He Knows How To Talk To Her
Nice guys just know how to compliment a woman. From the words he chooses and how he uses them, to the things he says and how they make her feel about herself, about her beauty, about life the compliments that a nice guy gives tend to reflect more of what he sees in her than on her, and that makes all the difference. Sure they may be a little awkward and unconventional at times, but it’s those very traits that let her know it comes from a genuine place.
A guy can tell a girl how hot she looks in her dress and what all it does for her curves a million times over (barf) and maybe secure a date, but tell her how much you appreciate the way she approaches each day with optimism and every person with kindness, and you’ve secured her attention. Nice guys use words like “beautiful” and “genuine” and “inspiring” to describe things like energy, humour and outlook. They leave us feeling better walking away from them than we did walking up to them, even when we weren’t looking for a boost.
2) He Notices The Little Things
Another special talent nice guys have is the ability to pay attention. Not just to what we say no, that much is expected but to how we do the things we do and all the little quirks that make us who we are. Noticing that she never eats the crust on her sandwiches and ordering hers without. Letting her know that you like her curly hair when she usually wears it straight. Following-up on how that presentation she was so nervous about last time ended up going, or checking up that she got home safe even though you only met for afternoon tea.
Those are the kinds of things that go a step further and show genuine care and attention beyond just polite conversation. They show that you’re paying attention to her, not just because she’s a woman, but because she’s her. Specifically. Because you see something special in her, something you care to explore. And those are the kind of signs that we just can’t ignore.
3) He’s Perfectly Imperfect
I think a big misconception about women is that we all (secretly or not so secretly) want the tallest, most beautiful, most impeccably dressed or fit guy in the room. Not for real life anyway. It’s just too much work. What we want is someone who is good looking in general. Someone who is not just aware of, but OK with his imperfections, and isn’t trying to hide them or overcompensate. Someone we can feel confident walking down the street with and presenting to the people in our lives.
Nice guys, regular guys, are just that. They understand working with what they’ve got, and putting their best foot forward. They don’t rely on their face or physique alone (even if they can), and put effort into presenting themselves well to people, to us, out of respect. Because they do care what people think. Because they do want to do the most they can for others. And it’s that kind of selflessness that makes them all the more attractive in the end big nose, love handles and all.
4) He’s A Consistent Communicator
Not to be confused with constant communication, consistent communication is huge (but not quite a deal-breaker because it can be improved). Getting back to a girl in a timely manner, not disappearing mid-convo or for days at a time, and checking in just to say ”Hey, how are you?” are uber important if you’re playing the long game.
Nice guys get this. Not only does it keep you on her mind, but it makes you look dependable. And that is without a doubt the sexiest thing ever. We don’t need a knight in shining armour, we don’t really even want one all that much, but knowing you’re willing to be one if and when the time ever did come whether that’s needing an opinion, or some cheering up, or directions on how to change a tire is seriously hot.
5) He Teaches Her Things
“Tall, dark and handsome” is all good when you’re 20 and looking for a bedmate for the weekend, but we do reach a point where we’re looking to settle down and find someone to grow old with. And while it may not be first thing we search for or even recognize in our relationships right away, just about every girl I know, single or not, holds a deep appreciation for all cool things she learned about thanks to her guy.
Whether it’s new music, or exploring underground cave systems while vacationing in Dubai, how to do our own accounting and taxes, or actually learning how to play and be good at pool once and for all seriously, why is it so hard? becoming a better, smarter, wiser version of ourselves because of the person we’re with is actually the fairytale ending we’re all after.