How To Break Up With Her So She Doesn’t (Totally) Hate You

Contrary to popular belief, breakups are not easy on either party. So often the person doing the dumping gets the bad reputation in the situation because they’re the ones who metaphorically ”pulled the trigger.” However, having said that everyone needs to be aware that oftentimes being the one to end a relationship is actually harder. There are so many unresolved feelings that go into ending a romantic relationship, and no amount of long-winded conversations between the two people involved can ever really fix that.

If you’re considering ending your romantic relationship, it is important that you treat the breakup with the same level of respect you treated the way you got into the relationship. Below are six ways to treat your breakup like the classy gentleman we all know you can be.

1. Do It In Person

I don’t care what the climate of the breakup is, whether there was a nasty fight that prefaced it or even if it was an amicable decision: you must end the relationship in person. The woman you’ve been seeing deserves the same amount of respect during the end of the relationship that you gave her at the start. This means there is absolutely no reason for you to call her and do it over the phone, nor does it mean you can text, have a friend do it, or even send a carrier pigeon with a handwritten note. If you do it in person she will accept that you were brave enough to value her feelings in a way that gives her closure. Otherwise you’re telling her I don’t care about how you feel about this breakup

2. Be Sure of Your Decision

If you’re going to end things romantically with someone, be 100% sure you’re making the right choice. Oftentimes we tend to act on impulse even if we’re unsure about how we feel about the breakup. Make sure you’ve considered everything when it comes to ending the relationship because if you come back two weeks later and say you’ve made a mistake you’re sending the message that this person is your emotional plaything, and that you care more about your selfish feelings than you do about her as a person.

3. Choose Your Words Carefully

If you’re going to end a relationship make sure you do it with the utmost respect and care. No matter what she may or may not have done to you to cause the breakup, it is never an excuse to call her horrible names, raise your voice, or break things. In order to be a gentleman in the breakup do not add insult to injury. End things in the most level way you can so that both of you can take the breakup with grace and dignity.

4. Give Her Three Months To Process

This means absolutely no contact. I don’t care if you need to unfollow her on all social media platforms and delete her number from your phone. By breaking up with her you are surrendering your rights to know what is going on in her day-to-day life. Even though this may seem cruel and unusual, but in the long run you’re showing her respect by giving her enough time to heal her wounds. Even if you end things friendly, you can’t be friends right away and you need to respect her space enough to not constantly be pouring salt on the wound.

5. Respect Her Support System

This also means no contact with her friends and family, no matter how much they also cared about you. By being involved with her support system you’re still appearing in her life during a time that is for healing. This means absolutely no going on dates with her friends or trying to swoop in on someone she hung out with for a new relationship. That part of your life with her is completely closed off for now and even though it may be isolating, you need to respect the fact that she needs to be with people who build her up right now and not try to inject yourself back into her life through outlier connections.

6. Understand You No Longer Have The Right To Be Jealous

Perhaps one of the biggest rules to ending a relationship with grace like the gentleman you are is understanding that you no longer have the right to be jealous of anything she does or who she spends her time with. Even though this may be difficult, it is important to remember that YOU were the one who initiated the breakup and therefore you have forfeited all rights to be angry about who she spends her time with. This is crucial because it means no angry texts after seeing her out with a new guy on Instagram, and this certainly means no angry words being exchanged if she moves on quickly while you expected her to be a crumbling mess.