5 Tell-Tale Signs That a Relationship May Be Over

1. You’re in some kind of danger
First and foremost, if you’re not safe in your relationship, you need to leave right away. This may include immediate physical danger to you or your children, or danger in a more subtle form.

Perhaps your spouse has a gambling addiction or has racked up mountains of credit card debt. These behaviors truly put you and any children you may have in a very risky and unstable position.

So before anything else, get yourself into a safe situation – go and stay with a friend or family member, for example – and then consider your options from there.

If your safety is compromised, your relationship isn’t serving you whatsoever.

2. You don’t share the same core values
Perhaps one of you wants kids and the other doesn’t. Or you have dramatically different religious beliefs that inform how you live your lives.

Consider what’s most important to you in life and how you’ll feel when you lay your head on your pillow for the last time. What will you be glad you invested your time and energy in?

Then ask yourself if your partner feels the same way. If not, you may not want to share the rest of your life journey together.

This isn’t to say you have to share the exact same interests and passions – everyone is a unique individual. But if your values aren’t aligned, you may not ever be entirely fulfilled by this relationship.

And the truth is, sharing different values doesn’t make either of you wrong or bad people!

It can just sometimes makes you a poor fit for one another.

3. You’re not heading in the same direction (or are even on the same road) when it comes to your goals and dreams
Again, you and your partner are going to have your own unique goals and dreams, which is part of what makes any relationship interesting!

But do your individual goals and dreams help fuel each other’s? Does your partner’s pursuit of their dreams help yours come alive? If you’re both doing what you love, you’ll bring even more energy and joy to the relationship.

And do you have some shared goals and dreams?

You don’t have to have all the same goals and dreams, but some have to align if you’re going to build a future together. Do you both want to own a home or to travel the world, for example?

Ultimately, do you see yourself in the same place, each doing things that create a thriving, flowering relationship? If so, wonderful. If not, it’s may be time to move on.

Perhaps you’d love to be in the deeply-fulfilling relationship of your dreams
This does NOT make you greedy or ungrateful for what you DO have.
Center Yourself: Free Guided Gratitude Meditation

4. You know deep down that you’ve left no stone unturned
If you do make the decision to leave the relationship, be sure that you’ve tried everything possible to make things work with your partner.

how to know if relationship is over

In some ways, it’s easy to leave, but the questions and regret that may come afterward can be terribly difficult.

You don’t want to be in a position years later where you ask yourself, “I wonder if I could have tried harder?”

After you leave, the opportunity to work on and save the relationship will most likely be gone.

Oftentimes, it helps to give yourself a 90-day window before making a decision. Commit to being fully present in and working on the relationship for 90 days, giving it your full energy and intention. After those 90 days, you’ll have a much better idea of where you stand and what to do.

So right now, ask yourself, “Have I truly tried everything I can to salvage this relationship?” If you have, it may be time to move on.

5. You’re in an emotionally-centered place when it comes to ending the relationship
Make sure that when you do end the relationship, if that’s what you choose to do, that you’re doing so out of an emotionally-centered place within you. There’s no anger, there’s no resentment and there’s no blame.