Top 10 Signs That Prove She’s Just Not Into You (Sorry)

It’s awful to have to confront the idea that the girl of your dreams may not actually be that into you. It’s certainly easier to bury your head in the sand and read every shred of affection or praise she sends your way as counter-evidence to that proposition. Ultimately, though, it’s better to know the truth about where you stand, and if you have even the vaguest sense she’s not reciprocating the same feelings for you you have for her, here are the top 10 signs that will confirm it for sure:hjkjgt

1. She Constantly Flakes On Plans

Everyone occasionally needs to bail on pre-arranged plans because of illness or absent-minded double booking, and the odd need to rain-check doesn’t signal doom. However, if the girl you’ve set your sights on is constantly flaking on you  especially last minute this is a pretty strong sign that she’s not prioritizing you as much as you are her.

It’s easy for most people to half-heartedly agree to dinner or drinks with someone they’re only feeling lukewarm about a week in advance, only to bail when date night rolls around. If she’s coming up with far-fetched excuses or is constantly “working late” or “sick”, then she is probably just not that into you.

If you really think she might still like you and is genuinely just sick or busy, then leave the next plan up to her. If she never initiates another get together, that’s a glaring signal that things are not as you hoped, and she doesn’t see you as a potential boyfriend or lover.

2. She Keeps Reinforcing That You’re Just Friends

If she’s constantly stressing that it’s so nice “having you as a friend” or explicitly introducing you as “my friend, [your name]”, then she’s trying to tell you something — namely, that you are not her boyfriend and never will be.

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t genuinely value your friendship or like you as a person, it just means that she sees you as a platonic force in her life, and things don’t look to be becoming romantic any time soon. Try not to throw too much of a tantrum about being put in the “friend zone”: friendship is, after all, a precious and generous gift, so you should be grateful that she’s offering you that much.

If it’s too hard to have her in your life if things aren’t going to progress any further, though, you should tell her that plainly and make a clean break, instead of plaintively hoping that she’ll finally see the good thing that’s right in front of her.

3. She Avoids Physical Contact

One of the key signals that someone is feeling you in a romantic sense is constant touching: resting your hands on each other’s legs, touching pinkies while you’re sitting side by side or even playfully hitting one another. Conversely, if she’s doing none of this, and her body language is stiff and unapproachable, then she’s subliminally showing you that she’s not interested in you in that way.

It’s definitely better not to force physical contact or lay it on heavy when it’s not welcome, so if she’s not forthcoming with touch, then leave her be and respect her wishes. It’s aggressive and can make women feel really uncomfortable if you try to initiate unwelcome physical contact, so take her lead here. If she’s interested in you and wants to touch you, she’ll make that abundantly clear on her own terms.

4. Her Replies To Your Texts Are Blunt And Terse

If you’ve received your 11th “k” or “yup” text in a row from her, we’re sorry to break it to you, but there’s nothing going on between you. When you like someone like them like them  you constantly feel like updating them on mundane details about your day or wacky business ventures you conjure up on your lunch break.

If you’re receiving nothing of the sort  or, worse, are not even receiving enthusiastic responses to your mundane life updates and business plans  then it’s a pretty clear sign that it’s time for you to move on, or at least give up hope that things between you are going to take a romantic turn.

5. She Hasn’t Introduced You To Anyone In Her World

One of the first things you tend to do when you’re really excited about someone and see things becoming serious is introduce them to your friends and family to make sure they’re a good fit. If you’ve been “dating” (at least, in your eyes) for weeks or months, but she’s weirdly evasive about letting you meet anyone in her world, that’s a clear sign she’s noncommittal about you and isn’t taking things as seriously as you are.

If she’s reluctant to meet your friends and family, that’s another bad sign, too. If your worlds aren’t meshing at all, and she’s the one preventing it, then it’s probably time to look for a more committed partner elsewhere.

6. She Avoids You For Days And Responds To You Intermittently

If the communication between you is always patchy and intermittent, it could be because she’s trying to fade you out, but wants to avoid looking heartless by ghosting you completely. So, she gives a lukewarm response to every third message of yours, say, and then ignores the rest of them.

Sound familiar? She’s trying to signal to you, in the kindest way she can muster without saying so directly, that she’s not interested and doesn’t want to pursue things. Again, the best strategy is to back off here, and if she wants to pursue things further, the ball is in her court to make that clear.

7. She Never Initiates Meetings Between You Two

Even if she doesn’t flake on plans with you, if she’s never, ever the one to initiate them, she’s probably hanging out with you fairly reluctantly. Hold off on making the plans for a while and see if she picks up the slack. If she doesn’t, she’s probably quietly relieved that you’ve left her alone, and that’s not a great sign for your romantic prospects.

You want a partner who is enthusiastic about spending time with you: if you were the one she had eyes for, you’d be one of her go-to people whenever she wanted to visit a gallery or check out a new movie, like she is for you. You deserve better than someone who is tepid about you, so cut things off if she’s never initiating plans, so that she doesn’t eventually have to have an awkward conversation with you about how she likes you, but just not like that.

8. She Gets Weird About Or Won’t Commit To Future Plans

If she blanches and changes the subject when you suggest making New Year’s Eve plans six months in advance, it could be a sign that she hasn’t imagined staying with you that long.

There are genuine reasons that women may be reluctant to make long terms plans, such a money worries or concerns about not being able to take time off work, but you should be able to get a pretty good read on whether this is happening often enough that it signals a deeper disinterest.

9. She Tells You, Directly And In Words, That She’s Not Interested

This one is as plain as it gets, and if you get told straightforwardly that she’s not interested, try to move past your initial feelings of rejection and realize that you’ve been done a favour. You don’t need to waste your time or try to mind read now: she’s let you know straightforwardly that she’s not keen, so in the famous words of Jay Z, it’s on to the next one.

10. She Lets You Know Indirectly That She’s Not Interested

Sometimes it’s difficult for women to be direct with men. We’re socialized to always be sweet and compliant, so saying a straightforward “no” is harder than it seems. So, if she’s saying anything along the lines of “I’m not really interested in seeing anyone right now” or “I’m pretty busy with work, which doesn’t leave much time for dating”, she’s telling you, as kindly and indirectly as possible, that she’s not interested in pursuing things with you.

Don’t push her on this or call her out for “lying” if she gets a boyfriend in three weeks or posts vacation pictures on Facebook: she was trying to let you down gently, and everyone tells the odd white lie or two to spare other people’s feelings.

Rejection is a horrible feeling, and most people on earth can agree that romantic rejection is one of life’s worse offerings. However, it’s ultimately healthier to call off a relationship that’s only limping along with one party’s active involvement, so if the above signs are coming up again and again, do the brave thing and move on. When you eventually meet someone who is as enthusiastic about you as you are them  and you will, trust us!  you’ll be glad you didn’t keep wasting your time.